Food jokes

Lettuce ketchup.

What did one bean say to the other bean?

How you bean?

Bread?

What did the cow say to the other?

"Cheese!"

Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?

Spread the love!

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

What do plus a nut and a pee make?

Pee-nuts.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?

It was the bomb.

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?

Hamburg-ER.

I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.

What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.