Food jokes
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."