Food jokes
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to ROLL in the DOUGH!
Memes
Don't squint your eyes
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.