Food jokes
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
Memes
cane sauce
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”