Food jokes
Blue Takis?
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
He jizzes canned cheese.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.