Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Food Jokes
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
