Food jokes
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Memes
Me on a diet:
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"