Food jokes
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple got chosen.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.