Food jokes

Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

A: Apples get picked! 😱

How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?

One, if the bag is family size.

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?

He was roasted.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?

The wheelchair rises to the top.

What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

I eat cockroaches.

Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.

I love eggs!

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.

What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

A pickle.

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?

GuacaHOLY!

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!