Food jokes
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
I eat cockroaches.
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.