Food jokes
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
Cereal.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!