Food jokes
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
Where is Freshfry?
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
Nuts, nuts, nuts!
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.