Food jokes

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?

There was nothing left but de-brie.

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.

Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

What flour do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.