Food jokes
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Applesauce.
I hate it when that happens
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.