Food jokes
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!