Food jokes
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Memes
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!