Food jokes
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.