Food jokes
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
I find bananas very appeeling.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.