What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
Beef beef beef?
TRIPLE ANGUS POUNDER BURGER XDDDDDDDD
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"