Food jokes
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Down syndrome and brownies.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Eat my butt.