Food jokes
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.