Food jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.