Food jokes

Applesauce.

Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."

What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

You get a milkshake!

How do you know if a comedian is high?

Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

What type of bee makes milk?

A boobee.

Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!

I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.

Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.

Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.