Food jokes
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain?
dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
Mayonnaise marry me?
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Eggs
You crack me up!
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.