Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
Food Jokes
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
A burrito walked off a building.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
One time I ate a chair.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
