Food jokes
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Lettuce ketchup.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.