What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
Food Jokes
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
I like pepper.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
