Food jokes
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Spaghetti-ashannaise
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!