Food jokes

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

A chicken walks into a bar.

He orders Dr. Pepper.

He then lays a good scrambled egg.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.

It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.

What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯

Friend: You can have my burrito baby.

Gay.

Friend: *begins to moan*

Me: Finna hang up.

Nuts, nuts, nuts!

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

What did the cow say to the other?

"Cheese!"

Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

Spaghetti-ashannaise

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!