Food jokes
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Why are french fries rude?
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.