Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
