Food jokes

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"

What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?

Mississippi Mud.

What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.

So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.

Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.

Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: You can't!

Stranger 2: You can.

Stranger 3: How?

Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.

Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.

Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-

(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

What is the difference between babies and dogs?

I don't eat dog parts.

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.

One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.

How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?

The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).

Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"

Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?

Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.

What does a queen want on her cookie?

Royal Icing.

I am mis-steak.

"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."