Food jokes
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Egg?
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).