Food jokes
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."