Food jokes
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. ππππππ
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeΓ±o business!
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
I like Cheetos.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?