Food jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."