What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
Food Jokes
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
You pecan do it!
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
