Food jokes
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.