Food jokes
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?
Da Bomb.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.