Food jokes
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."