Food jokes
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Avocado. Avocado deez nuts!
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.