Fitness jokes
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
"Candice balls fit up your nose."
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...