Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Once I went to watch a match in protugol it was between penaldo and his kids the Refree was Georgiana(his wife) mpaypal and igayspeed were also there the match begin and his kids scored 2 goals in first 10 minutes and during when match was about to end penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties his wife declined and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them ) but won 3-2. Shame on u penaldo 😡😡😡
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion". The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣
Jesus created the t-pose first
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
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A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
Radiohead had to remake Fake Plastic Trees after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
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when was the first black friday?
1619
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down ..."
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A orphan's first word would be orphan keeper
