First Jokes

Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

What first went through sally's mind when the Nazis came? - a bullet

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years

Jesus created the t-pose first

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

when was the first black friday?

1619

A orphan's first word would be orphan keeper

If at first it don't succeed try, try again.

What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

How many People do you need to change a Lightbulb? Three.The first holds the ladder,the second one holds the Lightbulb and the third one spins the Ladder.

Do you know what you first feel when you shot someone?

The recoil.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”