You mama so old. Her first christmas was the first christmas
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first bite <3
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
Why did the baseball player go to jail? Because he stole first base
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Girls are like a bus you might miss the first bus an catch the second bus
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.
What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
I hate 2 faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh don't worry, mine too!!
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
