Firearm jokes
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Guns control.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.