Firearm jokes
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
Shoot.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.