Firearm jokes
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
DONE🔫
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.