Firearm jokes

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

What's a bison's favorite gun?

A PP Bizon.

39, 41, 43, AK, 47, AK-47. You get it? Lmao.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.

1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.