How do you make a cat go “woof”? … douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! “woof!”
Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have have enough badges to train me”
What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“FUCK THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?
For Throwing Out the W’s
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
wood fired pizza?
hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
please drop a like
Whats the difference between me and a bus?
Im not on fire…
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”
What do you call a retard in a house fire?