Fire

Fire jokes

H2O

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

Terrorist

When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:

"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥

"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.

Cigarette

What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?

They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Man

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

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  • Job

    I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

    Man

    A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

    Grenade launcher

    Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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  • Orphan

    I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

    Friend

    My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

    Rose

    "Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

    Pubes

    Charizarding.

    When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"