When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire

Hot wheels

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.”

“Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.”

“Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.

Give a man a match he’ll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

Whats black and sitting in a chair. Steven hawking after a house fire

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