Fire jokes

When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:

"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥

"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.

What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?

They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...

A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"

Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"