Fire

Fire jokes

Puppy

    • My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

    A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

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    • Job

    • So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

    One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

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    • Fire memes

    Coffee

    • I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

    1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

    I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

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    • Kobe

    • What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?

    The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.

    Wow, that was explosive!

    Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!

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    • Contract

    • ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

    Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

    Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

    Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

    I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

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    • Smoking

    • I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

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    • Hamster

    • What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

    Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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    • Toast

    • 911 what's your emergency?

    "Burning in toaster."

    "Toast?"

    "Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

    "Set fire to my forest!"

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    • School

    • School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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    • Library

    • I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

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