Feel Jokes

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

Do You know when an African doesn't feel hungry? When he is is dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Numb Butt Wheelchair Club, No Feeling, No Problem.

someone i know is an ant. i feel like a mountain to them.

Whats black and white and red all over? The darkness of your heart, the dishonour of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

I saw a girl with blond hair. she was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw. So I ran up to her feeling hot

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?

its smell like something die in my room, oh yeah its my dignity,hope, and my feeling. put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears .

What is red orange and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls,autumn leaves 🍁

Tell me a joke about my hairline no because he don't got one feel like Donald Trump it don't move

what is the difference between a walking dead and you he doesn,t feel pain

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU?"

How come Mr Squirrel watches porn sometimes? Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't

yo i feel like shit when your around

Ugly kid I feel ugly. Me you don’t have feel ugly you already ugly

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

Q:Why are orphans so scared to get maried? A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

I feel weird to ask this but... can anyone guess my real name?

#Imbored

When you get to feel a dick in you then suck bro all your stress out the window