Fear jokes
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!
I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why was 10 afraid?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.