Fear jokes
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?
Because they are afraid of the jet.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.