Fear jokes
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.