Fear jokes
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
Why was 10 afraid?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."