Favorite jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Haven’t gotten to the ones I like the most.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
What’s a rapper’s favorite exercise?
Heavy bars.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?
A: "Free Fallin'"