Fast jokes
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.