Fast jokes
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.