Fast jokes
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?" "Because I was Russian!"
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.