Baby

Zuchuri

Arby’s fast food, and abortion clinic, your dead babies are our taters and gravies.

Cheetah

Anonymous

why is the cheetah so fast because it cant walk slow

Nut

Anonymous

The Cheerio Joke

Let’s say you’re in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there’s Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there’s the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there’s your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who’s an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she’s going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; “Oh there want a punch line.”

Animal

Anonymous

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Red

Anonymous

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster

Puns

Anonymous

What do sprinters eat before a race? – Nothing, they fast.

Border

Bigdaddy69

Whats fast and almost got away? A Mexican jumping the border.

Fat

Anonymous

ur mom fat lol

Friend

Db.

My friend asked me how fast my humor was and I said it jumps borders then he asked how dark my humor is and I said it picks cotton.

Cow

Anonymous

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female… sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general." Reporter: "But isn’t that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

Car

yo mom

yo mom so stupid that when she seen went to see fast and furious 8 she was bringing her car to the theater.

Shooting

T.M.

People are like taquila glasses

you gotta shoot them down fast

Die

MineJul

Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.

Morning

retired grocer

I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said “Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg.” I said “Excuse,me, I didn’t get that?” so he mumbles even louder, “Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!” I shook my head and said “I’m sorry, but I still didn’t understand what you said.” Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says “YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!”

Ketchup

The washington siblings

say “Mike who cheese hairy” fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000

Fall

Rony

Student asks teacher if I throw apple & noodles which 1 will fall 1st teacher replied I don’t know then student replied noodles will fall 1st because noodles r fast foods

Speed

Anonymous

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Puns

Anonymous

So you know The Lion King Do you remember Simba Well his dad is really strong and he walks really fast but Simba walks really slow So I told him to Mufasa

Sadness

Melodee

If you spin a fidget spinner You’ll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you’ll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You’ll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You’ll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you’ll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you’ll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You’ll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you’ll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER

Friend

answer fast

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he’s so worried we’re going to jail. I’m not. I’m fine. Please reply fast.

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