New Fast Jokes

why was sonic fast? to be rolling around at the speed of sound got places to got to follow my lead

paul walker started in 3 movies fast and furious, gone in 60 seconds, to die hard

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? Fast food

How can you be fast and slow at the same time getting a gold medal in the special Olympics?

Say "urine egger" 5 times fast.

If mcdonald's is fast food, the dairy queen is Fast Cream.

I don’t know why I go to the gym being healthy is dying fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker? I’ve watched fast and furious seven

Why was the rapper always in a rush?

Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM

A guy told a beautiful girl "hey I want to make love to you if I throw 2000$ when you go to pick it up that's when I'll go is that okay?" She called her husband and he said "okay but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down" Four hours later she shows up to her house and tell her husband "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS"

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.

Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.

A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.

In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.

He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.

So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.

My friend: How are you running fast! You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

Brrr it's fucking cold outside aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh how about the latest phone! Who me? Oh I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!