Family jokes
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Why wasn’t the orphan allowed on the game show?
The show was called "Family Feud."
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
There's no one to call "daddy."
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.