Family jokes
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
Orphan, sorry.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.