Family jokes
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Memes
Happens to me
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Your mom.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.