Family jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
Why can't Jordan moan? Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.