Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
