Family jokes

Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

What do you call a person with a flip flop?

My dad.

What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.

Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?

Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.

Orphan: Why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

By the way, infertility is hereditary:

If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.