Family jokes
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Memes
yer a wizard harry
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.