Family jokes

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

He wanted to be wanted.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."