Family jokes

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.