Family jokes
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People 😂
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Memes
You are the special
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
The F in orphans stands for family...
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.