Family jokes
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.
Your mum has balls.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a homepage.