Family jokes

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.