Family jokes
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
You are the special
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.