Family jokes

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?

He is waiting for his dad with the milk.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.