Family jokes

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

What's an orphan's least favorite game?

Baseball because they can't find home plate.

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.