Family jokes
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
You are the special
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.