Family jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Memes
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.