My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
Family Jokes
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
Why canโt orphans play baseball?
Because they donโt know where home is.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
When youโre fucking your boss and realize itโs a family business.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy๐
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
