Family jokes
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What is an orphan's most relatable movie?
"Home Alone."
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.