Family jokes
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Memes
Like if you can relate
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.