Family jokes
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.