Family jokes
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."