Family jokes
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.