Family jokes

Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.

What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?

The homepage.

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.

What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?

Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.

When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.

Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?

Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.

Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.