Family jokes
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.